"Ain't No Woman Like The One You Got!"

Ephesians 5: 25 - 33

Husbands, love your wives,
just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

 I graduated from college when I was 23 years young. Excited to take on life and all the adventures that it held out there for me.  I had big dreams and ambitions to do carry out wondrous goals and tasks for God. One of them was moving to Atlanta, Georgia and start a church called Joy! And man I could not wait, I was looking at jobs in Atlanta, reading the local newspapers from Atlanta, and trying to make contacts with churches rooted in Atlanta.  I was living and breathing the ATL to the point that it  was all I would talk about. It was my time and my moment so nothing was going to stand in the way of my dream.

Well, I take that back almost nothing was going to stand in my way. The only obstacle I had to overcome was my wife. You see, my wife felt I was not ready to pastor, unsure if  I was even called, and just flat-out did not want to go Atlanta. To me she was crazy because to me anyone could clearly see God's Vision for my life. I just hypothesized  that she was afraid to step out on faith and did not believe in me. Every time she challenged me I would become angry and hurt because I thought she was not supporting me, I would think "Come on now, you are my HELP MATE WOMAN! Get it together!" It was hard because I was just so sure that she was holding me back. But one day that all changed.

After a church service on Sunday afternoon while we were driving home, my wife looked over at me and said, "Where do I fit in your vision?" Stumbling for words that I could not find I replied with something like, "You're my wife so you will have your own ministry in the church." Friends let me tell you that this was the wrong answer. When I realized that she had no part in my vision I realized that my ministry was all about me and me alone.  I knew what God had called me to do but I was consumed by the glory it could bring me. In doing this I neglected to concentrate on the bigger vision and calling of my life….it was being married to wife.

First and foremost I had to understand God had given me a suitable helper ( Genesis 2: 20 -22) and not someone who would work to fund my ministry, nor was she my private secretary. Instead she was the one to whom I was to love as myself and the one I willingly left my parents for (Genesis 2: 23-25). In short she was my wife. I was viewing my wife in a title role of my vision, you know I just saw her as the "Assistant Pastor" or "Leader of The Women's Ministry." The problem with this thinking  was simple, when I saw her only as a title it became increasingly easy to treat her like an object and not my lover. I can avoid having a relationship with a title, not talk to a title, or even fire a title! But I can't do this to my wife because the bible tells me I am to love her and take care of her (Ephesians 5: 33).

Look around at all the ministries where the pastor treats their spouse like a business partners in the coöperate ministry and not as their lover. These type of marriages won't last long because the wife feels like she was just an object of service, whose job is only to support the Pastor and not  love her husband. Marriage is an intimate and God blessed relationship that is separate from all others.  Marriage  in itself resembles God's relationship with the Church ( Ephesians 5: 25-26).

So how are you are treating your wife Pastor, Deacon, or Minister ? Does she feel loved by you or does she just feel like she works in your ministry. The Word is clear that we are to love our wives and take care of her.  And I know the Bible talks about living with a wife who is quarrelsome is like a humongous thorn in your side in Proverbs 19:13 but IT DOES NOT SAY  DIVORCE HER! It tells us that you should take care of your ministry of the home ( 1 Timothy 3:12) first and the ministry of the church second. So I am calling on you pastors, evangelist,  deacons, and whomever else,  to love your wives as Christ loved the church. Show her the affection she deserves, make loving her the top priority over everyone and everything else. Your greatest ministry will always be in the home, so please I am calling you to fulfill that calling. Take a chance today and be a minister to your wife through love. Let her KNOW you LOVE her because she is worth it.



"In His JOY!"