"Dysfunctional Family Promises"

For the past two weeks I have read Genesis 37 over and over again. It is an awesome chapter in The Bible that covers a great deal of issues. I have often heard the story of Joseph being described from the pulpit as "Delayed but not denied", meaning that Joseph's blessings and/or purpose did meet some hindrance by others but it did not stop God's blessing. I grew up hearing that and I am not writing to speak out against it but this week I saw the ordeal of the life of Joseph, his father Jacob, and his eleven brothers totally differently.

Let me explain, Joseph was born to into the household of Jacob when Jacob was very old. Because the birth of Joseph occurred while Jacob was well in years, Jacob loved him more than his other children and made him a coat of many colors (Genesis 37:3). This act of love towards Joseph left his brothers feeling rejected by their father and fueled their hatred toward Joseph (Genesis 37:4). Joseph would always report his brothers mischief to his father and I am sure this fueled the fire (Genesis 37:2).

To make matters worse Joseph told his brothers of the dreams he had for the past two nights where Joseph was the center of attention and all of his brothers, father, and mother bowed to him as a servant does to his master. This angered Joseph's brother and led to Jacob publicly rebuking Joseph for even bring up the notion. The brothers became jealous of Joseph after this encounter but Jacob pondered on what Joseph had told them all ( Genesis 37:5-11).

Sometime later Joseph went out into the field to work with his brothers, but little did he know that his brothers were plotting to kill him. The only thing that prevented Joseph's murder was his eldest brother Reuben who convinced his brothers not to harm Joseph. Unfortunately this only lasted for so long because after Reuben left Joseph's brothers threw him into a well and sold him into slavery. When Reuben returned he found out that Joseph was now working a new job as a slave in Egypt and his brothers had dipped his coat in goat's blood to cover up their sin. When they all returned home they told Jacob a wolf killed Joseph and showed Jacob his favorite son's bloody robe as proof. Jacob cold not be consoled and decided he would mourn until his death over his son Joseph (Genesis 37:12-36).

But what is the purpose of knowing information and how can it help us? Think about it like this, if Jacob had stopped for a moment and recalled Joseph's dream, things may have gone differently when his sons told him Joseph was dead. Jacob was relaying on the word of (men) his sons and not the vision that God had given his son Joseph (God's Word). If Jacob had realized that his entire family had not yet bowed to Joseph, he would have said "My son lives!" instead of mourning over the word of liars.

How often have we all been in this predicament. God tells us something but we put more trust in the words of men, this leads us to wail and complain to God about broken promises. But if we kept our hope and faith in God we would realize it is a matter of faith for the people of God and not a matter their of circumstance.

This leads me to the second thing I learned, How many of us grew up in families just like Joseph, you know dysfunctional. Who would you blame for what happened in Jacob's family? Jacob because he was the father who showed favoritism? Joseph because he may have had a "smart mouth" and boasted about his dreams? The brothers because they did not correctly deal with their anger? We all can easily point fingers at everyone in this story because we are on the outside looking in. But what about your family? Some of us have not spoken with our children in years. Some of us blame our parents for our poor choices and the consequences we have suffered because of them. Some of us cannot stand our siblings whether are our biological, step siblings, or adopted. And some of us hate our in-laws and blame them for how our spouses act, we think our spouses parents did a poor job raising them. Never the less, we are all just like Jacob's family, dysfunctional. But this brings me back to the question, whose fault is it for all the family's woes? I blame everyone, no one has clean hands in this mess, no one is guiltless, all I have sinned in some form towards one another. But the lack of communication in the family added fuel to the fire, created strife, misconstrued words, and lead to sinful actions. Much like if we were honest about the problems in our families we would all see that everyone has played apart in the mess we are currently in.

But God knew what He was doing, He knew how to bring a family together and restore what was loss. He had to bring a "somewhat prideful" Joseph to a place of humility and forgiveness. In the beginning Joseph's brother spoke harshly with him and hated him (Genesis 37:4) but in the end Joseph had great compassion for them and spoke kindly to him (Genesis 50:19-21). God had to humble Joseph's brother and show to them His plan. The vision was not about Joseph, Joseph was just the chosen tool God used to save them. So their jealousy was without merit (it is funny how we hate who God chooses to use but we love the blessing we receive because of His choice). The boy they had cast out because of hate had become the man who would welcome them with love. The guilt that they carried for all though years would be wiped away with grace, mercy, and forgiveness (Genesis 45:4-10). God gave Jacob beauty for ashes, joy for his mourning, and praise for his despair (Genesis 37:32-35, 45:26-28, Isaiah 61:3).

God proved that His Word will never fail but it will accomplish the mission for which it was sent (Isaiah 55:10,11). Ever promise spoken out of the mouth of God will never be broken and will always come to pass this is why we walk by faith and not by sight because God's Word is more real than our reality. Listen this is also why we pray before we act and we wait to hear God's clear guidance in ever circumstance (Proverbs 3:5-6). Because His way his higher and better than our way (Isaiah 55:8-9) and we have a tendency of acting out of emotions (like Joseph, Jacob,and his brothers) as opposed to acting out of faith. This is why we read the Word to build our faith and show us what path to take (Psalm 119:105). And this is why we fellowship with believers because we need someone to remind us of what God has said and not we others are saying (Proverbs 27:17, 1 Thessalonians 5:11).

For you parents with wayward adult children, I say to you trust in God and stay steadfast in your faith because God knows what He is doing. God often uses the trials of life as sand paper to smooth our rough out our immaturity (James 1:2-4). So even if you hate to see your child suffer, count it all joy because God is doing something great, just stand back and let God do His Job. You siblings who have quarreled for years, stop! Be like Joseph and see how God has changed you and your brother/sister. Appreciate the time you have now, like Joseph did with his brothers. See the bigger picture, it is not just about you and your opinions/feelings. It's about God accomplishing His Will (Genesis 50:15-21). Honor one another's unique gifts and encourage one another in the Lord. For you adult children who are dealing with feelings of rejection, bitterness, and issues that stem from your upbringing, stop blaming your parents! Instead of complaining take accountability for your reactions and stop allowing the past actions of others to decide your future. If we all look back hard enough we could blame our parents for everything. But God tells us to forget what is behind and press towards Christ (Philippians 3:14). At some point you have to move on and give grace. Joseph lost of over twenty years he could have spent with his father due to ignorance. His brothers lost over twenty they could have spent with Joseph because of hurt feelings. Don't rob yourself of the years you could now be spending with your parents or your siblings for that matter. And to all I say, do not worry but give your entire family over to God. Listen for His direction and trust His Word. Hold onto His Word despite the current circumstances and frustrations. Though you may cry now you will rejoice in the end. Please understand there are some pains only God can heal and some wounds only God can mend. Trust me He has a way of making dysfunctional families who live in their emotions into functional families who abide in Christ. Stay focused, you can do this!

"In His JOY!"

Read the Word, Share the Gospel, Be accountable.

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